Today, I unknowingly returned to the place
Where I first encountered you
And your touch filled me with a longing I couldn’t escape,
Making me feel whole in a way I’d never known.
But now, that place holds a different kind of ache,
It’s where I first felt the grip of anxiety,
Caught in the panic of how to be near you.
My chest tightened, unsure how to breathe,
How to move, how to exist in your presence,
Not knowing how to breathe when I saw you.
A fear of how to exist in the same world as you,
It’s where my heart nearly shattered
From the pressure of its own beating,
The rhythm of my pulse too intense, too desperate,
A tortured melody that only you could compose.
That was the place
Where my eyes found you for the first time,
Where my cheeks burned in a fever of longing,
Where I blushed like a fool,
Drunk on a moment too fleeting to hold.
It was the same hour, the same day—
And still, the sound of your name stains my lips,
Still, it sends a tremor through my skin,
Still, I return to that place, searching for you,
Even knowing you will never be there.
You have gone too far—
Too far for my eyes to chase,
Too far for my voice to reach,
Lost beyond time, beyond distance,
Beyond everything I could ever grasp.
And yet, even in my ruin,
Even as absence carves its name into my ribs,
I search for you there,
Dragging my shattered heart through the emptiness,
Dying a little more each time I remember
That you are never coming back.
I once thought, maybe, just maybe,
Fate would let our paths cross again.
But I never imagined
I’d have to walk that street alone—
The same street where I once wrote poetry for you.
And then, the past crashed over me,
Like the way you stepped toward me
From the café’s door,
The way my face burned in your presence,
The way your voice wrapped around me—
A simple hi, yet it unraveled my very being.
And how I, trembling, breathless,
Murmured back, too shy, too fragile, too alive.
That day, you reached into my chest
And breathed life into my hollow heart,
A heart that had only known silence.
And in that moment, without knowing,
You became my universe.
I never told a soul,
But the moment our gazes 1st met
I began writing.
and i wrote you into exsistence
I made you my verses, my rhythm, my rhyme.
You became my ink, my poetry,
The only thing I ever truly possessed
And now, they tell me to let you go.
To erase you like words on a forgotten page
But Oh, God—how do I let go,
How do I unwrite the only story I ever knew?
How do I abandon the only love I ever lived?
The only love i everr wrote ?
When my poetry still bleeds your name,
When every line, every poem is still you?
The only piece of you that still remains?
When you are the only thing I have left of myself?
Gone with my soul
You left
not long ago, not even a while,
just a breath, a heartbeat, a moment.
But for me, it was everything.
Time shattered the second you walked away,
and I’ve been lost ever since.
Love, longing, and every trembling feeling
they all lead back to you.
It has always been you.
Only you.
The thought I wake to,
the ache I fall asleep with.
I never said it aloud,
never let the words escape,
because in some quiet, unspoken way,
I thought you were mine
even if only in the silence of my love.
But now you’re gone.
And I say your name,
shout it into the emptiness,
knowing you will never hear.
You have drifted too far,
beyond reach, beyond goodbye,
leaving nothing behind.
And yet, here I remain,
trapped in the ghost of your presence,
blushing like a fool,
breaking like a heart that beats only for a memory,
bleeding at the mere whisper of your name—
even its first letter
cuts me open anew.
The Endless Day
It’s just a day
a fleeting moment for the world,
but for me, it lingers like a shadow,
stretching beyond time,
dragging echoes of someone
who will never truly leave.
It’s just a day
but it is hollow,
an abyss carved in my chest,
where laughter once lived
and love once bloomed.
It’s just a day
but my soul unravels,
thread by thread,
a silent scream buried beneath
the weight of what was lost.
For others, the sun rises,
life moves, love breathes.
But for me, this day never ends,
a wound that time cannot close,
a sorrow that bleeds,
a love that dies
yet refuses to be forgotten.
The Void
I’m dying here,
lost in the empty silence of my own heart,
craving to know
Are you happy?
Do you feel the same, or have I faded into the past?
I ache to ask you how you are,
but my voice betrays me,
and the words never make it out.
I want to ask if you need anything,
if you need me
but I already know the cruel truth
The answer will never come
Even so, if you ever do,
you will always find me,
like a broken melody that never fades.
My name will always be Joye,
my number will remain the same,
waiting for you in a place where time stands still.
You will be in every corner of my soul,
woven into every thought, every heartbeat,
because you’ve made it impossible to erase you from my spirit.
Your soul took what was best in me
leaving me shattered,
a broken shell
bleeding love
that will never stop hurting.
A Name Lost in the Wind
I wonder have you forgotten me?
Has my name faded like a whisper in the wind?
Or did you ever even know my last name?
Did you ever remember it,
or was I just a passing thought,
A name too easy to forget
Will our voices ever meet again,
even if only as strangers passing in the dark?
Have you wiped away every trace of me,
deleted my number like I was never there?
Will I ever catch a glimpse of you,
even from afar, even in a dream?
Will I ever flicker through your thoughts,
even for a single heartbeat
the way you consume mine,
over and over, a trillion times,
an ache too deep to fade?
Because somewhere,
your name has become my password,
woven into me like an unbroken spell,
locked away in places
you will never see,
never remember,
never know.
Poetry Without poem
The room drowns in a darkness no color can name,
my eyes, swollen oceans, spill over—ˆ
red, raw, burning like an unhealed wound.
I trace your shadow through a glowing screen,
knowing every glance is another knife,
knowing the more I look, the deeper I sink.
The more I seek you, the more I unravel,
losing grip, losing breath, losing myself.
The more my eyes chase you,
the harder I fall
harder than pain, sharper than longing.
The more I love, the more I bleed,
each heartbeat a crack, each sigh a fracture.
And in the end, I will break
not just once, not just twice,
but endlessly, beautifully,
until there is nothing left of me but love
and ruins
Every word I write is carved from my pain,
every verse a wound left open,
bleeding, aching, breaking
all for you.
Every syllable, every breath,
every tear-stained page whispers your name.
I swear upon my shattered heart,
it’s always been you
only you.
Without you, I would have no poetry.
Without you, my heart would be silent,
would not ache, would not bleed.
And even if words remained,
I would not write
for without you,
there is no meaning,
no fire,
no poetry left in me.
Ending With No Regrets all
This is so cruel,
so mercilessly cruel
I laugh, but it’s hollow, empty.
I am shattering, falling apart,
for something that was never mine to lose.
Life moves on without mercy,
but I feel it differently
like a knife twisting deep.
I sit here, still, lifeless,
my body frozen in grief,
my heart splintered into a billion pieces,
each one screaming in silence.
And I cry,
and I ache,
and I break,
and I die
over and over again
for something that was never mine to begin with.
I know nothing about you.
I swear, I don’t.
Not your favorite color,
not the food you crave,
not the places that feel like home,
not the dreams you chase in the dark.
I know nothing
nothing, except your voice,
a song etched into my bones,
a melody I cannot silence,
no matter how much I try.
Except your touch,
still burning into me,
a fire that never dies,
even in your absence.
Except your scent,
stronger than perfume,
thicker than air,
lingering like a wound.
Except your eyes,
deep, relentless,
pulling me into a world
I was never meant to stay in.
Except the way your hair falls,
the way it frames your face.
I loved your ponytail,
even though that night,
you left your hair undone,
wild and untamed,
whispering everything
you would never say.
And when you left,
a single strand of you
remained on my clothes—
fragile, fleeting,
the last piece of you
that refused to let me go.
Our meeting was a quiet tragedy—
too distant to hold,
too formal to feel,
too restrained to ever become something more.
And yet, my heart betrayed me.
It should not have beat for you,
but somehow, it did
wild, desperate, aching for the impossible.
I wasn’t meant to need you,
but in that moment, I did.
I wasn’t meant to want you,
but I wanted you still
a thousand times over
a million times more
again and again,
until the wanting itself became a wound.
But some desires were never meant to be,
some longing is meant to break you,
and loving you was something
I should have never dared to want.
How cruel, how tragic
I fell for someone I never truly knew,
for someone who never stayed,
never promised,
never even looked back.
I grieve for moments
that never belonged to me,
for a love that never had a chance to exist.
We were nothing
not lovers,
not even fleeting strangers who lingered.
We barely spoke,
barely met,
barely touched
and yet, I fell.
I fell recklessly,
hopelessly,
violently
like a storm crashing against empty shores.
A love that was mine alone,
a wound that only I could feel.
I told myself it was just my past haunting me,
just another cruel trick of attachment,
just another scar waiting to fade.
But even now,
I fear love
I fear loss
I fear falling again
for something,
for someone
who was never meant to be mine.
How cruel, how merciless—
I am still waiting,
clinging to a reply
when silence itself is the answer.
and I know it too well.
You spoke without words,
ended without farewell,
closed the door without hesitation.
You have already gone
too far to reach,
too far to touch,
too far to feel,
like a fading constellation,
once burning, once beautiful,
now lost in a sky
that no longer belongs to me.
Maybe you don’t want to speak,
because we both know
if we do,
we’ll sink back into that place
a place where love only burns,
where every word is a wound,
and nothing ever heals.
And I know, I know
returning to that agony
is like stepping into a fire
that will never stop hurting
I tell myself I shouldn’t wait for you,
that I shouldn’t even care
but here I am,
waiting still,
again,
over and over,
like I’m trapped in a cruel, endless loop.
You’ve already gone,
I know you won’t come back,
but still,
I hold on
clinging to a hope
That is nothing but a ghost and
that’s slowly suffocating me.
Somewhere,
somehow,
a piece of me keeps dreaming
in some faraway place,
we’ll cross paths,
just once,
just to feel you near me again
even when I know, deep inside,
it’s nothing but a cruel lie.
Why can’t I let go?
Why do I keep holding on
to something that’s already gone?
They tell me to let you go,
to erase you from my heart,
to stop hoping,
to pretend you were never real.
But how can I do any of this
when your ghost lingers in every corner of me,
when your absence is a wound
that never stops bleeding?
How can I forget you
when every part of me is haunted
by your memory,
your touch,
your voice,
still echoing in the silence?
They say to move on,
to live as though you were never there,
but how can I walk away from a love
that carved itself into my bones,
a love that still aches in the deepest parts of me?
How do I let go of something
that was never meant to be mine,
but became everything I was?
You are the most beautiful soul I’ve ever known,
and still, I can’t help but say
I don’t regret meeting you,
even if it’s left me shattered.
I don’t regret the moments we shared,
the conversations that seemed endless,
the small details of my heart I entrusted to you.
I don’t regret letting you in,
telling you my dreams,
showing you my broken plans,
because at least, for a moment,
I felt whole with you.
I don’t regret the way I stared at your face,
lost in the warmth of your smile,
the way your eyes pulled me in,
like they were the only thing that mattered
I don’t regret loving you,
even though it slowly killed me.
I don’t regret the pieces of me
I couldn’t let go of,
the parts of you I couldn’t forget.
I don’t regret forgiving you,
even though it meant I had to break myself open
even when I know it hurt me more than you’ll ever know.
I don’t regret missing you
every breath, every day,
and Again I don’t regret loving you
even when it hollowed me out.
I don’t regret us,
even when you chose to walk away.
And now, in this wreckage,
all I have left is the bleeding truth
I don’t regret any of it,
I will never regret
the beautiful wreckage you left behind.
Maybe I’ll never be able to set you free,
or stop loving you
even though you’ve made it clear,
there is no “we,”
because, truthfully,
there never was.
But if I could speak this last confession,
it’s that there was only me
only me, loving you,
with every corner of my heart,
every shattered piece of my soul.
And it hurts
hurts more than anything,
a pain that twists deep within,
leaving me broken,
bleeding out with every thought of you.
I gave you everything I had to give,
and now, I’m left with nothing but the ache,
nothing but the ghost of a love
I can’t escape
a love that will haunt me forever,
even if I never had you at all.
I can’t ask you for anything
I can’t speak the words that burn my throat,
I can’t tell you the truth
that haunts my every breath,
because you were never meant to hear it,
and I was never meant to speak.
You were always meant to stay a memory,
a distant, glowing star in my chest,
and I was always meant to love you
from the shadows, like the moon,
never able to touch you,
but holding you within me,
in every beat of my broken heart.
So, I cannot ask you not to leave,
I cannot ask you to let me in
as you walk away into your own silence.
All I can do is sit beneath the endless sky,
the pale blue stretching farther than I’ll ever go,
and I will imagine myself as the midnight,
forever yearning and dark,
while you are the sunshine,
so warm, so bright,
yet always out of reach.
Ghost Of The Stars
I lie here, waiting
just for another message,
just for a trace of you.
Scrolling through your world,
as if searching for a way back in.
But I know I already lost you.
I never even had you.
Not a touch, not a whisper,
not even a fleeting moment that was truly ours.
I was too late.
Too distant.
Too easy to forget.
I used to gaze at your lips
those pink-red, perfect curves,
holding words that were never meant for me.
Soft and inviting,
yet untouched by me.
I imagined their taste,
felt their warmth in dreams
where, for a moment, you were mine.
I kissed you in the quiet corners of my mind,
and convinced myself
they must taste like strawberries
sweeter than honey,
aching with a depth
that matched my longing
And deeper than desire
The last time we spoke,
the last time we fought,
the last time I reached for you—
was that when you let go?
Or was it only me,
clutching at something
that had already slipped through my fingers?
I told myself I wouldn’t lose you.
But I did.
I already have.
And it isn’t fair.
Nothing has ever been fair.
Here I am,
burning like the sun that never sets,
dying like a star that no one watches,
suffocating as if the air itself
has turned its back on me.
But it’s only me.
Only I am left gasping for something
that was never mine to hold.
And sometimes, I wonder
am I even allowed to breathe?
Your touch
I still feel it, burning through my skin.
Your breath
I still remember the way it stole mine.
You smelled like sunlight on strawberries,
like something warm and golden,
like something I thought I could keep.
But you were always bigger than my hands could hold,
always too far,
too untouchable,
too much for me.
Now I am nothing
but the ruins of what I once dreamed.
Is this love?
Or have I only fallen
for the shape of longing itself?
I have written you in a thousand ways,
a million words,
poems inked in longing,
letters soaked in silent cries,
carved you into words
that will outlive even my voice.
And I will keep writing
until my hands refuse to move,
until the universe forgets me,
until my last breath
is nothing but the sound of your name.
I was never worthy of you.
I never have been.
I was never enough
not for the brilliance you carried,
not for the way you simply existed,
not for the way my eyes found you,
like you were the last star in my dark, empty sky.
But still, I fell.
Recklessly.
Desperately.
Harder than gravity should have allowed.
And yet, none of it mattered.
I lost you before I ever had you.
And that is the cruelest kind of love
one that never begins,
yet still finds a way to end.
We were never friends.
We were never anything
but two strangers
colliding in silence,
drifting apart before we even began.
And yet, I ripped myself open for you.
I let you see the best of me,
the worst of me,
the pieces of me
I had never given to anyone else.
I showed you my scars,
my fractures,
my trembling hands.
And somehow,
somewhere,
in the midst of it all,
I fell.
I still don’t know how.
Now, my nights are haunted by a sorrow
that has no name, no shape—only weight.
My life feels like a wound that cannot heal,
a mistake I cannot take back.
My eyes burn
red, swollen, wrecked
as if carrying the fire of your absence.
It hurts to keep them open,
but closing them only pulls me deeper
into the emptiness you left behind.
I have no words anymore,
but even if I spoke,
even if I screamed until my voice broke,
you would not hear me.
You would not see me.
You would not feel this agony
that I drown in alone.
I burn, I unravel,
but you
you remain untouched,
as if I was never anything at all.
I expected too much.
I held onto too much.
And now, my world is just an empty shell,
a hollow space where you once were.
Every therapy session echoes with your name,
but even my therapist knows
your name is the phantom that lingers in every word
the ache I cannot speak out loud,
This, this is a pain I was never supposed to fall into.
But I did.
I fell deeper than I ever imagined.
And this love, if I even dare to call it that,
was never meant for us.
And now, I am lost.
A piece of me gone,
ripped apart and bleeding
from the void you left behind
My Star Has Burned Out
I listen to songs that sound like you
like echoes of something never meant to last,
like memories flickering before they burn away.
A moment, a glance, a ghost of a feeling
and yet, it drowns me.
I stare at the ceiling, hollow and weightless,
the fan spinning like the hands of a clock
that forgot how to move forward.
Midnight stretches into 3 AM,
and I am still here, still breathing,
but I feel like nothing,
just a body that love has abandoned,
just broken stars scattered in the dark.
I have loved you in every breath,
in every silent heartbeat,
in the vastness of a universe
that never made room for us.
I wonder
if we had met in the depths of space,
where gravity is nothing and silence is everything,
would my love still be so unbearably heavy?
Would my heart collapse under its own weight,
or would it shatter into dust,
scattered and forgotten?
I am lonelier than space itself,
more ruined than dying stars,
burning like the last breath of the sun,
falling endlessly into black holes
with no way out,
no way back to you.
Time slows, time stops,
but somehow, I keep moving.
Somehow, I keep breathing.
I held every moment with you
like a prayer I never dared to say aloud.
Falling for you was something
I never saw coming,
but loving you
God, loving you was something
I wish you knew.
Something I wish you felt.
But love, real love,
does not always ask for permission.
And unrequited love
it is not just pain,
it is a death with no grave to rest in.
But I stay quiet.
I do not tell you.
Because the truth would only ruin
whatever this is,
whatever it was.
It already hurts enough,
but the thought of you leaving
leaving forever
is a wound that will never close.
I love like fire,
like a wildfire that consumes everything,
burns me alive and asks for nothing in return.
I have given you every piece of me,
every bone, every breath,
until I am nothing but ashes.
Love should not be poison,
but somehow, it has killed me slowly,
and I never learned how to love
without bleeding for it.
I remember everything.
The way my heart raced at the thought of seeing you.
The way I carefully chose my clothes,
changed my hair,
all so you would notice
And just to hear you say,
“That looks good on you.”
Now I change my hair to forget,
to erase the version of me
that only existed for you.
But no matter how much I try,
I remember
I remember it all too well.
I want to let you go,
but love is not a door I can close.
It is a wound that never stops aching.
How do I forget
when you live in every second,
in every empty space inside me?
I don’t even know why I cry anymore.
Maybe because every time you cross my mind,
I fall into another kind of hell,
a new way of suffering,
another version of dying
without ever truly disappearing.
Maybe I asked for too much.
Maybe I dreamed of a love
that was never mine to hold
And now I understand
there is no world,
no timeline,
no corner of existence
where we fit.
I look at the stars,
the vast infinity of space,
but when the moon rises,
I see you instead.
Maybe this is what cosmic love is
something that never belonged on Earth,
something doomed before it even began.
They say if you love someone,
you let them go.
And I swear, I want to.
God, I swear, I need to.
But how do I let go
when you are written into my very existence?
How do I move on
when every piece of me
is still breaking for you?
Still, I will let you go.
Even if it kills me.
Even if I bleed you out a thousand times over.
Even if the pain swallows me whole.
I will let you go
despite the breaking,
despite the burning,
despite this love
that refuses to die.
And Even if it leaves me hollow,
bleeding,
dying in a love
that never got the chance to live.
I will let you go
even if it destroys me.
Jyoti's Blog 