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The Day I First Saw Her  and Lost Her in the Same Breath

I sat on that chair,
waiting for her,
my heart trembling like a secret it couldn’t hold anymore.
It was the first time I would see her
the girl my thoughts had memorized
long before my eyes ever met her.

I kept scrolling through my phone,
stalking her Instagram again and again,
as if the glow of her photos
could keep my heart from falling apart.
She was so, so different
too real for the world,
too beautiful for words.

There was so much I wanted to tell her,
but I said nothing.
I just kept searching
in every corner, every reflection,
every passing sound that wasn’t her voice.
The waiting felt endless,
like time itself refused to move
until she arrived.
And in that stillness,
my chest learned what anxiety feels like—
the ache of love before it’s even confessed.

Then she came.
Quiet.
Effortless.
She saw me
but I was still looking for her in the stars,
too lost in the idea of her
to see that she was already here.

Her hand touched my shoulder,
soft and certain.
“Hi,” she said,
and I turned
then froze.
I forgot to breathe.
I blushed like the world had turned
just to light her face.

She smiled,
and in that smile, I found
every poem I never dared to write.
She was a piece of art—
and I was the fool who could only stare,
too afraid to touch,
too afraid to speak.

I kept gazing,
as if by memorizing her,
I could keep her forever.
But forever was just a moment,
and moments fade too fast.

She left
and the world didn’t notice.
But I did.
Because she walked away
with my calm,
my words,
my heart.

Now I sit in that same chair sometimes,
scrolling through her pictures again,
still searching every corner of a universe
where she might remember me too.

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Love Beyond the Event Horizon

In the midst of the frigid snow, adorned in a crimson velvet scarf, clutching a bottle of champagne against the breathtaking backdrop of the Eiffel Tower, I found myself lying on the ground, gazing at the heavens. The sensation was surreal, as if I were twirling and hovering within the ethereal embrace of the Milky Way’s delta quadrant, defying gravity’s existence while lying motionless.

In this moment, it felt as if I had entered the event horizon of a black hole, a place where time itself seemed to slow, and I was suspended in a state of profound introspection. It was as if I were gradually descending into an abyss, fading away into nothingness, all while witnessing the world unfold around me, unnoticed and unseen, like a silent observer.

The left behind is an enigmatic realm, akin to being drawn into an intense magnetic field and a potent gravitational force. These forces, much like the gravitational pull of certain individuals’ hearts and the magnetic resonance of their minds, have the power to attract and tear one apart. It mirrors the captivating pull of a love so deep that its absence leaves a void as vast and mysterious as the universe itself.

Love, I discovered, can be a paradoxical experience. It’s like falling for someone without realizing the solitude that follows when they are no longer present. Now, at the verge of the event horizon, I am being pulled by the formidable gravitational force of the metaphorical black hole. Yet, within this abyss, her image persists, shining brighter than any light, even in a place where light itself cannot escape. It’s a testament to the extraordinary nature of the person she is, one whose brilliance transcends the limits of the tangible and the known. In this emotional labyrinth, I continue to perceive her face, a radiant beacon that defies the very forces that seek to engulf and erase.

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Chandler Bing: Illuminating the Night with Laughter, Turning Sleepless Struggles into Endless Moments of Joy.

Dear, Chandler Bing

  This letter is dedicated to you, Chandler. It’s been a 18 days since you left this world, and I still find it incredibly hard to believe that you’re no longer with us. You left behind a multitude of fans who deeply care about you, as well as your family, friends, and so many others. I’ve been a devoted viewer of “Friends” for a whole decade, and you’ve always been one of my favourite characters. In all honesty, you’ve been a true source of inspiration for me. In this letter, I want to express the profound impact Chandler Bing had on my life and the lives of countless others. Whether it was a sarcastic one-liner or a heartfelt moment, your performance as Chandler provided comfort during difficult times and became a beacon of laughter in the mundane moments of life.

Whenever I find myself feeling down, sad, or alone, your witty humour and the caring nature of your character on “Friends” have the power to lift my spirits. I mean, how can I stay in a gloomy state when Chandler Bing is around? Whenever life gets tough, I recall that there is still beauty to be found, and this thought motivates me to persevere and not give up, regardless of the hardships I’m facing.

Let me share a personal confession. About a year and a half ago, I had to be admitted to the hospital and underwent a major surgery that forever altered my life. I had to have my foot amputated, and when the doctors delivered this painful news, it was almost unbearable to accept. I was forced to make a quick decision, which I wasn’t prepared for. But in that moment, your influence came to mind, and it helped me find the strength to make that difficult choice.

The “F.R.I.E.N. D” series and the character of Chandler Bing taught me that sometimes it’s better to let go for a greater purpose, even when faced with excruciating pain, knowing that I would have to endure it for the rest of my life. Your example helped me understand the value of making difficult decisions for a better future.

Chandler Bing, a pivotal figure in the American sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S, is my compass of hope, my guiding light through the darkest of times, and the unwavering support I always needed. Mr. Chandler Bing, your portrayal as the epitome of the best version of oneself has touched my heart deeply. When I’ve lost my way and forgotten who I am, it’s you, Mr. Bing, who whispers to my soul, reminding me of the person I strive to be.

Chandler, you’ve been an incredible teacher, imparting life’s most valuable lessons to me. You’ve shown me the beauty of letting go, the complexity of falling in love with those closest to you, and the unwavering loyalty and support that true friendship entails, especially during the lowest and highest points of one’s life. I am eternally grateful for your presence during the times when I had no one else. My life has often felt like a never-ending ordeal, but watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S, watching you Mr. Chandler Bing, at the forefront, has been my refuge.

Thinking back to Season 5, Episode 14, the words “I love her, I love hercarry a profound emotional weight. It’s a moment that encapsulates the depth of love and the emotional storms it can unleash. Just as Chandler’s character has been my guiding light through life’s ups and downs, this episode evokes the powerful and raw emotions that love can stir within us.

This particular episode has left an indelible imprint on my soul, an experience that will forever resonate with the deepest corners of my heart. As I grappled with the overwhelming sensation of love for one of my closest friends, a deep emotional turmoil enveloped me, fueled by the notion that such affection was a forbidden trespass, a line that should remain uncrossed in the realm of friendship. Yet, it was the profound lessons I imbibed from you, Chandler, that led me to the heartfelt understanding that it’s entirely acceptable to experience love for a friend. You, Chandler, beautifully illustrated this truth when you allowed yourself to fall in love with Monica.

Unfathomable laughter and smiles that linger in the heart, evoking profound.
Chandler’s gaze at Monica evokes a profound emotional experience that feels unlike anything you’ve ever felt before, as if it stirs a depth of aliveness within you that is entirely unique.

The act of summoning the courage to reveal one’s vulnerabilities and confess one’s love to another is nothing short of miraculous. It has taught me a profound truth: love and our emotions are treasures not to be concealed, no matter who the recipient may be. Life’s fleeting nature often denies us second chances, leaving us with no option but to gather our inner strength and lay our feelings bare.

In the wake of this emotional revelation, I’ve been profoundly awakened to the agony of concealing one’s love and emotions, a pain that makes the act of expression all the more imperative. Thanks to Mr. Chandler Bing, I’ve come to understand that loneliness is an intrinsic part of the human experience. It’s perfectly acceptable to feel those moments of loneliness and sadness; they are, in fact, the emotions that guide me through this journey.

In the past, I refrained from approaching or inviting people to hang out due to the constant fear of rejection. However, I now muster the courage to approach others, even knowing that rejection may be the outcome. I’ve come to realize that a single word of rejection does not define my worth, and this invaluable lesson I’ve learned from you, Mr. Bing.

Through endless nights of torment, where my mind was a battleground, and the cold edge of a blade threatened to quell my anguish, I found myself trapped in solitude. Then, in a desperate moment, I turned to CHANDLLER BING, and a wave of relief washed over me, erasing the pain as though it had never existed. As a fan, I would like to thank for the laughter, the tears, and the moments of connection that your portrayal of Chandler brought into my life.  CHANDLLER BING, all I can say is thank you from bottom of my heart for your humors, your unwavering strength, and for being the embodiment of the finest version of oneself. You became my guiding light, pulling me back from the abyss of despair. It’s a bittersweet realization that, despite your physical absence, the spirit of Chandler Bing will always be present in the hearts of those who found joy in the world you helped create and It’s unbearable to accept that you departed from this world prematurely. There was a time when I eagerly carved out moments to indulge in the “F.R.I.E.N. D” series, all because of the magnetic presence of Chandler Bing. His wit, sarcasm, and humors had this incredible ability to illuminate my world. However, the experience of watching the show has undergone an irreversible transformation. It now stands as a poignant testament to Chandler Bing, a character that was not just a fictional entity but a source of immense joy. The cruel reality is that Matthew Perry, the maestro who breathed life into Chandler, is no longer among us. Now, the world of F.R.I.E.N.D will forever bear the heavy void left by Chandler Bing. His departure, much like the scattering of leaves on a melancholic October 28, 2023, is a profound loss. The memory of Chandler Bing persists, but the absence of Matthew Perry is an emotional abyss that leaves us grappling with the void he left behind. As this letter nears its end, all I can hope to convey is the profound love, care, kindness, and generosity that you’ve sown, and I hope you can see the vast ocean of affection and admiration that surrounds you. Last but not least Could I ever find words to express the depth of sorrow in bidding you farewell?

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Unfulfilled Travel Dreams: The Unquenchable Thirst for Exploration

Life can be an incredible rollercoaster, filled with profound moments of wonder and unpredictability. Ever since my early days, I’ve been driven by a deep sense of curiosity, always yearning to step into a different version of myself. While many people in our world chase after wealth and financial success, my heart’s true desire is to become an intrepid explorer. My ultimate dream is to traverse the globe, extending a helping hand to those in need through volunteering, and making a difference by establishing schools and hospitals in communities that lack these vital resources. I’ve always held a vision of a life brimming with adventures, immersing myself in the rich tapestry of diverse cultures, traditions, and heritages. The mere thought of riding a camel through the crimson deserts of Dubai and Saudi Arabia, sipping on tea and coffee in Turkey, and floating above Turkey’s breathtaking landscapes in a hot air balloon fills me with boundless excitement. The fact that Turkey straddles both Europe and Asia, with 5% of its land in Europe and 95% in Asia, adds a layer of enchantment. I am particularly eager to witness the bridge that seamlessly connects these two continents, standing there and being overwhelmed by the sense of unity it represents. And then there’s the undeniable allure of the belief that Turkish people possess some of the most captivating eyes in the world. I can’t help but envision the deep emotional connection that would come from gazing into those mesmerizing eyes. It’s a dream that fills my heart with profound emotions and a burning desire to make it a reality.

My existence has been a relentless pursuit of unfulfilled dreams, forever asking, “what if?” moments, yet it feels like I’ve never truly had the chance to experience that longing. My heart longs not only to visit the countries I mentioned but also visit to France, Germany, Belgium, the Netherlands, the UK, Greece, Italy, Egypt, the Maldives, India, Finland, Iceland, Norway, Switzerland, Mongolia, Thailand, Indonesia, the Philippines, Japan, South Africa, South America, Latin lands, Mexico, Canada, Cambodia, the vast expanse of Africa, and South Korea but before visiting these countries I want to visit first my own homeland country Nepal.  As a Nepalese, the very first place I want to set foot in is Mustang and Manang. These are places where my heart truly belongs, along with Pokhara, Solukhumbu, and so many others. These places hold a treasure trove of cultural and historical significance, from the sacred Hindu temple known as Muktinath to the captivating walled capital of the kingdom, Lo Manthang, in Upper Mustang. My heart aches for these places, but their lofty altitudes and the associated health challenges make my yearning all the more intense. It’s a deep-seated desire, rooted in the rich history of Upper Mustang. What fuels this longing is the deep history of Upper Mustang. Until 1992, it was a forbidden land to foreigners, maintaining its status as one of the most well-preserved regions on our planet. Its isolation from the outside world and the continued use of the traditional Tibetan language by its inhabitants have kept the local culture intact. Even after opening its doors to outsiders in 1992, Upper Mustang remains a carefully managed destination for tourists, with a limited number of visitors in 2008. The connection of Upper Mustang to the Chinese border adds to its allure, promising an abundance of knowledge and experiences. But, as I’ve mentioned, my ability to fulfill this dream may forever remain out of reach, and that is a source of deep emotional yearning. But I still ache to be there despite my health condition, to stand upon those barren hills and release a primal, soul-stirring scream.

My yearning is not for mere existence but for living life to the fullest, to breathe in the world, embrace its diverse cultures, traditions, and heritage. Regrettably, my reality is a confined one, with the hospital walls serving as my only horizon. For me, travel is more than recreation; it’s a quest to understand the world and unravel the purpose of our existence. Why are we born, if not to explore and find the true meaning of life, even in the face of adversity?

I ache to recline on the ground beneath the towering majesty of the Eiffel Tower in France, a bottle of champagne as my silent companion, as I peer up at this symbol of dreams and hope. In those moments, I would immerse myself in deep contemplation, revisiting my past, marked by relentless struggles and the darkness of despair. I want to stand in front of the Eiffel Tower and reflect on the incredible journey that brought me to this point, weighed down by the burdens of my past and the triumphant steps I’ve taken. France, a land of profound culture, a mecca of coffee, a haven for exquisite cuisine, and the birthplace of culinary delights, entices my very soul. Its museums, its music, and its arts whisper a siren’s call to my heart. France is where cinema was born, a testament to its profound impact on the world. I yearn to plunge headlong into the heart of this nation, to soak in its culture, to grasp its traditions, and to tread on the very soil where countless inventions were brought to life. In this enchanting land, the allure of savoring a different cheese each day ignites my senses, opening my eyes to life’s countless dimensions. And in Italy, I would feast on cheesy masterpieces like pizza, pasta, and spaghetti, while also indulging in the sartorial wonders of a nation celebrated for its fashion. The prospect of visiting the Leonardo Da Vinci Museum, the very place where the masterpiece, the Mona Lisa, was crafted, forever altering the way we perceive art and paintings worldwide, fills me with profound emotions. In Italy, a land known for its ability to evoke nostalgia, I anticipate being enveloped by the echoes of the past, as I set my eyes on timeless paintings, awe-inspiring sculptures, and the ingenious creations brought to life by the visionary Leonardo Da Vinci. The thought of immersing myself in this rich tapestry of art and history, gazing upon Da Vinci’s inventions, is nothing short of breathtaking. It’s a journey that promises to be more than a mere visit; it’s an emotional voyage, a chance to experience the essence of these masterpieces and to connect with the feelings they evoke. The museum becomes a sacred space where history and invention are tangible, and life itself transforms into a remarkable and extraordinary experience.

When I received the devastating diagnosis of an incurable autoimmune disease, life lost all meaning, and I felt utterly purposeless. But then, I had a revelation about my dream of becoming an explorer, and it completely transformed my perspective on life. I realized that I’m destined to live my life with this disease, constantly surrounded by medications, hospital visits, and cold eyes of doctors. I’m also acutely aware that I may not have as much time as others, and that’s why I want to explore the world before the suffering becomes unbearable. Before my entrance into this world, I was an anonymous soul, a mere whisper in the cosmic winds. But now, with my affliction, I’ve become someone defined by this burden. Through my travels, I aim to forge connections with people from diverse backgrounds, forming friendships that provide comfort and a chance for a fresh start, far from the haunting memories of betrayal and past wounds. The loss of my foot became a poignant teacher, driving home the bittersweet truth that what’s meant to stay will cling to us, and what’s destined to depart will inevitably slip through our grasp, no matter how tightly we hold on. It’s a raw lesson that stirs the depths of my emotions, compelling me to treasure every moment, to immerse myself fully in the present until it slips away like sand through an open hand. In the present moment, my focus is on immersing myself in the rich culture of Nepal. I wander through its enchanting cafes, tasting an array of flavors that speak to my soul. I explore the ancient wonders of places like KTM Durbar Square, Bhaktapur Durbar Square, Patan, and Swoyambhu with a mix of awe and reverence. These experiences are my solace, a way to nourish not just my body but my very spirit. Though I traverse this path alone, it’s a deeply personal pilgrimage, a quest to find solace and joy in every encounter, treasuring each fleeting moment as it slips into the treasury of memories, brimming with sentiment and emotion.

Throughout my life, I’ve strived to seize elusive moments, yet it often feels like every moment in life is inherently fleeting and elusive. My illness has rendered me emotionally numb and physically paralyzed, edging me closer to complete devastation. Right now, I stand at a pivotal juncture, considering the possibility of relinquishing medical treatments and redirecting my resources toward embarking on a global adventure. What’s the purpose of persevering through treatments when the possibility of a cure remains distant, and the hope for good health feels like an unattainable dream? Instead, I’m drawn to the idea of investing in a journey across the world. It seems like a path to happiness and a serene farewell, offering the chance to savor every moment of life. In this way, life becomes a source of joy, and each instant transforms into a precious experience to cherish.

She, Like Light

I glimpsed her at dawn,
a quiet miracle passing through my ordinary morning.
My voice froze inside me
no greeting, no courage, no touch
only the ache of distance.
And still, she burned bright,
like the sun refusing to notice
the small planet breaking beneath it.
God, her beauty
it didn’t just stun me,
it unraveled me.
A violence made of light.
A sweetness sharp enough to wound.
I stood there, breathless,
as if love itself had struck me
and left me trembling in the aftermath.
I loved her.
I love her still.
Love that refuses to die
even when it is unwanted,
even when it is turned away
like a stray thing at the door.
She said no.
Softly, maybe.

Or maybe not softly at all
but no is no,
and it echoes louder than any promise.
My feelings fell back into me,
homeless, unanswered,
and now they haunt my ribs
like a trapped bird that never stops beating.
And in the dark hours,
when silence grows teeth,
the questions come
cruel, relentless, impossible to silence.
Was it my face?
My body?

The way the world already marked me
before she ever could?
Did my disability stand between us
like an invisible wall I could not climb?
Or was it simply fate
that cold, indifferent author
writing a story where I was only meant
to watch,
to want,
to lose?

I tell myself I was never meant to have her.
That some loves exist only to break you,
to teach you the exact shape of your loneliness.
That perhaps I reached toward a star
never meant for my sky.
She remains radiant
untouched by my grief,
moving through life with that effortless light.
While I fade into the background,
another unnamed girl
swallowed by the crowd,
just a passing shadow
on her untroubled journey.
She is brilliance,
sun and starlight and everything warm.
And I
I am the quiet emptiness
left behind
after the light moves on

I see her everywhere,
or maybe nowhere
a ghost stitched into my days.
And each glimpse, real or imagined,
splits me open again,
like grief has learned my schedule
and waits for me at every corner.
I still remember that café
our beginning, fragile and bright.
The trembling first meeting,
the quiet clink of cups,
the coffee we shared
as if it were something sacred.
Even now, I swear I can breathe it in
that warmth, that bittersweet aroma,
that brief illusion
that something beautiful had chosen me.

I have never regretted those moments.
Not the hope.
Not the fall.
Not the way my heart opened
without knowing it would never be caught.
Those memories became my shelter
proof that, once, I almost lived
inside a happiness
I would have died to keep.
But I couldn’t hold on to her.
And I still can’t let go.
Long years have passed,
yet love clings like a wound
that refuses to close.
I cannot move on.
Cannot forget.
Cannot erase the shape of her
from the quiet spaces inside me.

I know we will never meet again.
I know you’ve forgotten my name,
my face, my existence.
We have dissolved into strangers
two bodies passing
like shadows in a subway crowd.
Even if we stood in the same train,
breathing the same stale air,
She would never see
how my chest tightens beside her.
And by the time she arrived
at whatever bright destination awaits her,
I would already be gone
just another unnoticed departure

Life is cruel like that, isn’t it?
To love someone you were never meant to have.
To carry a heart too full
inside a body that already feels
too heavy, too different, too broken.
This abnormal body.
This relentless, unforgiving disability.
All I ever wanted
was something unbearably simple:

To walk beside you.
To hold your hand.
To ask you, softly,
“Will you be mine?”
Every Valentine’s Day,
like love could have been ordinary,
like happiness could have been allowed

But all I ever truly learned to say
was Je t’aime.
Words that bloomed too late,
too quietly,
too far from where you stood.
I even wrote you a letter in French —
pages filled with everything
my voice could never carry.
But it never reached you.
Like my love.
Like my longing.
Like every version of us
that never had a chance to exist.

And sometimes,
in the darkest, most merciless hours,
I still ask:
Would you have loved me
if my body had been easier to accept?
If I had stood steady
without my prosthetic leg?
If my hands were not numb,
if my lips were not cracked
like my heart?
Would you have kissed me then?
Held my hand without hesitation?
Seen me  truly seen me?
Or is that just another illusion
I built to survive
the unbearable truth?

Perhaps I was never someone
She could have chosen.
Perhaps I was only a lesson
in longing,
a fleeting chapter
in a story where she was always meant
for brighter things.

Still…
Believe me when I say
I regret nothing.
Not loving you.
Not breaking for you.
Not carrying this impossible tenderness
through a decade of silence.
Because, somehow,
even pain becomes precious
when it is tied to you.
So I will say only this
quietly,
with whatever strength I have left:
Thank you
for the moments that let me feel alive.

And wherever life has taken you,
I hope it has been kind.
Have a beautiful life.

Beyond Visibility: The Marginalization of Queer People with Disabilities in Nepal 

Nepal is often praised as one of the most beautiful places on Earth, a country cradled by the Himalayas, adored by travelers who return again and again just to lose themselves in its mountains and its magic. Kathmandu’s Basantapur glows with life, its narrow alleys and ancient temples drawing crowds who marvel at its charm.
But behind this postcard beauty lies a truth so painful that most people never pause long enough to see it. Nepal still fails to protect the dignity, rights, and basic humanity of people with disabilities, LGBTQIA+ individuals, and marginalized communities. Our constitution promises that every person is equal, regardless of caste, gender, ethnicity, or race  but those promises feel like ink on paper, fading the moment they meet reality.


I know this, not from stories or statistics, but from the life I carry in my own body. I am a disabled person. I am queer. I walk with a prosthetic leg, a piece of metal that clings to me every day, reminding me of battles I did not choose. Something as simple as walking, something most people do without thinking, becomes a quiet war for me. Even in the heart of Kathmandu, accessibility is nothing more than a dream.


And the cruelest truth is this: among all people with disabilities, women and LGBTQIA+ individuals are the most vulnerable of all. We are the ones left behind, the ones society pretends not to see, the ones whose pain is invisible beneath Nepal’s beauty. But invisible does not mean unreal. Our suffering is as solid as the mountains others come to worship.


Nepal celebrates its diversity of languages, castes, colors, cultures  yet the streets themselves turn into cages for people like me. Tourism flourishes, but inclusion barely breathes. Basantapur may be a wonderland for visitors, but for someone with a prosthetic leg it becomes a battlefield, every uneven brick an enemy, every stair a wall. There are no ramps. There are no lifts. The cafés and restaurants meant for joy sit locked away in upper floors, accessible only through suffocating staircases that quietly whisper: You don’t belong here.
This country’s cruelty is not only built into its structures  it lives in its people too.


Yes, the government has created a few measures: reserved seats on buses, free rides on Saja buses, free entry for certain sites, a promise of a pension. On paper, it sounds like progress. To outsiders, it may even look like compassion. But these scraps cannot hide the real truth: people with disabilities are still forgotten, still dismissed, still left to navigate a world that was never built for them.


Sometimes the loneliness of being denied dignity in your own homeland hurts more than any physical pain.
When I ride public vehicles, the seats marked for people with disabilities are almost always occupied. Passengers shrug off my request with excuses  “back pain,” “tired legs,” “just one stop.” Drivers and conductors stay silent. And so I stand, gripping the steel railing while my prosthetic leg throbs, the pain rising until my whole body trembles. Once, traveling to Ratnapark, I begged for the seat that was mine by right  and still had to stand until someone else got off. People think these seats are privileges. They’re not. They’re weapons for us to survive a war nobody else sees.


Even getting off at my stop becomes another battle. If I need to reach Jawalakhel Alka Hospital, I’m forced to get off at Damkal because that’s where vehicles stop. And so I walk back through broken pavements and narrow paths, carrying a weight no one around me can understand. People stare at me like I’m a strange creature who doesn’t belong in this world.
But the discrimination does not end on the streets. It follows me into banks, offices, and institutions  places where dignity is supposed to be standard, not selective. Whenever I walk into a bank, people stare at me like I am an alien, like my disability makes me uneducated, illiterate, incapable.


Even when I’m simply filling out a form, staff members immediately say,
“You might not understand this. We’ll fill it for you.”
Not out of kindness but out of assumption. A stereotype so deeply rooted that people with disabilities are seen as unintelligent, uneducated, lacking ability or creativity.
It’s a judgment I’ve grown used to, but it still cuts every time.


And this prejudice follows me into the job market too. Even basic jobs become unreachable mountains. I have been denied opportunities simply because I am disabled  not because of my skills, not because of my potential, but because of a label society refuses to look past.
During my mandatory internship, the one I needed just to graduate, I struggled endlessly. Even unpaid internships, the kind nobody else fights for, felt impossible for me. There was no accessibility. No willingness to accommodate. When I asked organizations about accessible entrances or adjustments, they pretended they didn’t understand the question.
Even the organizations that proudly claim to be “inclusive” do not hire disabled people in reality. Their inclusivity exists only in words, never in practice.
I still remember one incident that broke something inside me. I applied for a position and was invited for an interview. I went hopeful, determined. But the office was on the fifth floor of a building with no lift, no ramp, no alternative entrance. I tried to climb the stairs, forcing my prosthetic leg upward, but the pain stopped me by the first floor.


Breathless, I called them and said:
“This building is inaccessible to me. Is there any alternative or reasonable accommodation you can provide?
There was a long, cold silence.
Then they simply said, “Okay… thank you,” and hung up.
No apology.
No solution.
No effort.
Just a quiet dismissal  like my body disqualified me from dignity.
At that moment, it wasn’t just a job I lost. It was hope.
And yet, I know others who suffer even more those with severe disabilities who face challenges far harsher than mine. Growing up in Nepal as a disabled person  and also as a queer person  feels like living inside a cage with no door, watching the world move freely while you remain tethered to the ground.
Accessibility in Nepal is not just lacking; it is almost nonexistent. Chandragiri is one of the very few places that even attempts to be accessible. People with disabilities gather there like it is a rare island of relief. The staff try to help everyone reach the top, feel the cold mountain wind, see the horizon  and for a moment, dignity feels real.


However, even in those moments, hope feels fragile  as if a single gust of wind could blow it away.
Sometimes, standing in this beautiful country, I feel like I do not belong here at all. Nepal looks too perfect for someone like me  like a picture I am allowed to look at, but never truly enter. The stares from strangers are sharp and heavy, telling me everything I already know:
You do not belong.
You are not normal.
You are tolerated, not accepted.
Still, despite the stairs, the stares, the pain, the rejection  I keep moving. I keep walking. I keep surviving. But every step carries a quiet heartbreak: the knowledge that surviving in Nepal as someone like me is not just difficult. It is a slow, constant breaking of the spirit.
Accessibility is not a luxury. Not a privilege. Not a gift.
It is a basic human right.


Every person, no matter their caste, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, or disability, deserves dignity, respect, and inclusion. To deny this is not a mistake; it is a violation of human rights.
And yet this violation happens every day.
Particularly for LGBTQIA+ people with disabilities this denial is not occasional, it is constant. The world reminds us again and again, through inaccessible buildings, through exclusion, through indifference, that our existence is something society struggles to accept.
It is a cruelty that suffocates.
A heartbreak that lingers.
A silence that screams.
But no matter how many times society tries to erase us, the truth remains:
Our rights are not negotiable.
Our dignity is not optional.
Our existence is not a burden.
We deserve to live, move, love, and belong  just like everyone else.

She Got Away

I saw her
the girl with the burgundy hair,
the one whose existence felt like the first breath
after nearly drowning.
Her presence entered me like a quiet storm,
and her perfume…
God
even now it drifts across my ribcage
like the scent of a memory
that refuses to die.

Every day folds into another,
every second dissolves into the next,
and the world keeps spinning
as if my grief isn’t dragging against the stars.
People pass by faces, shadows, strangers but she remains the only constellation
my eyes still map,
the only echo I search for
in every body,
every corner,
every universe.

I swear on every trembling bone in me:
I never betrayed her
not in word, not in thought,
not even in longing.
Even when we were nothing,
even when we were a story waiting to be born
but never granted breath.

I tried to let her go.
A billion attempts,
a trillion implosions.
I tried to carve her out of the softest parts of me,
but every attempt resurrected the same ache.
You cannot unlove what never became real—
you can only bleed quietly
for the future that died unborn.

I know I cannot rewrite tomorrow
while shackled to the ashes of yesterday.
It would have been a mercy
just to exist near her,
to hear her voice as something more
than a fading vibration.
But she became my past,
a specter without form,
a story without chapters.
Still I cannot unclasp her
from the fist of my heart.

Three years passed
three entire years orbiting
the absence of her.
And still, like a child whispering to dying stars,
I begged,
Please don’t love someone else.

But I saw her post,
glowing beside another
someone whole, someone steady, someone worthy.
The cruelest agony
is loving someone alone,
loving them fully
while they live unaware
of the universe built around their name.

Sometimes I sit with regret and wonder:
What if I had told you?
On my birthday,
I was ready to confess,
to spill the truth she deserved to hear
a billion times.
But the moment never came.
She drifted into a world
I could not reach.

And I know
love cannot be forced,
hearts cannot be commanded.
So I swallow the shards
of this broken, blue soul,
choosing pain for myself
rather than chaining her
to a love she never asked for.

She was gentle.
She was kind.
A light shaped from softness
until I understood
her kindness toward me
was woven from pity,
stitched from sympathy.

Here is the truth I swallow like iron:
If I were normal,
if my legs were steady,
if my body did not tremble under its own weight,
if I were not a fragile silhouette against gravity—
would she have looked at me differently?
Would she have seen a person instead of a burden?
Would she have chosen me,
not out of kindness, not out of pity,
but if desire were something we could share?

Is my body the quiet reason I was left unchosen?
Is this the price of being shaped in limitation—
to be met with empathy instead of longing,
to receive compassion that tastes more like sorrow
than love?

She was a star.
And I
was the crippled creature
who dared to reach for her.
A moth touching a supernova,
dragged inward,
pulled apart atom by atom
by the singularity
of her impossible beauty.

Everyone moved on
my friends,
her,
the universe.
But I remained
a ghost haunting the echo of her name.

I don’t know why I’m crying again,
why my chest feels like a collapsing sun.
When I looked into her eyes once, just once,
it felt like I had loved her in another lifetime,
and the worst part was how unsurprised I was
by that ancient recognition.

I wanted us to be friends, at least,
even though my heart never wanted something so small.
But now we are strangers,
two celestial bodies
that brushed once in the abyss
a comet and a dead star,
passing each other in eternal silence.

Now I am haunted
by the ghost of a girl
who was never mine to lose.
And yet—every night I still ask the universe:
If I were unbroken,
if my bones were not battlegrounds,
if my steps were not shaky prayers,
if my body did not betray me
with every attempt to stand strong
would anyone ever love me?
Would there be a heart somewhere
that falls the way I fell for her,
completely, helplessly,
without hesitation or pity?

Would my chest stop tearing itself open
under the gravity of existence,
or was I born to carry this loneliness
simply because my body
was carved differently from the rest?

Maybe in another life,
in another universe,
in another version of me
where my steps are steady,
where my spine does not bend,
where I reach out
and she does not turn away,
maybe there I would be enough.

Maybe there,
the light in her eyes
would not pass through me
like I am transparent.
Maybe there,
she would stay,
not because she pities my brokenness,
not because I am what she cannot love,
but because she recognizes
the universe I carried for her
in the quiet ache of my chest.

Silent Hearts, Stolen Kisses: The Hidden Reality of Same-Sex Love

Love between same-gendered people is still treated as a transgression. Queer desire is pathologized, surveilled, and policed by heteronormative norms that dictate who can love, how, and where. In a world structured by cisnormativity and gendered expectations, holding a hand, whispering “I love you”, or kissing a partner becomes an act of radical visibility, a defiance against systemic oppression. Every slur, every erased gesture, every stolen moment reveals the structural violence queer people endure globally, not just locally.

Imagine stepping into the world, every breath a gamble, every glance a risk. You say, “I love someone of the same gender,” and suddenly the air shatters with disbelief. Shock freezes faces. Whispers crawl like venom:
“Are you gay? Are you lesbian? Or are you bisexual?”

Simply existing with same-gender desire is treated as a scandal, a pathology, an unnatural aberration. And all around, heterosexual love flows freely public, visible, unquestioned, untouched by fear.

Children inherit hate before they even understand love. In Nepal, words like “chakka” are thrown at queer people, sometimes by children as young as eight, their innocence weaponized into cruelty. Adults witness, shrug, normalize.

This is not just Nepal. Across continents, children absorb the lesson that queer desire is wrong, dangerous, funny, shameful. These words are not just words they are chains around hearts, invisible walls around love, barriers to intimacy and self-expression.

Media does not comfort. It betrays. Films, television, social media reduce queer lives to caricature: gay men as effeminate jokes, lesbians as hyper-masculine anomalies. Gender expression is misread as sexuality, and identity is policed by society’s obsession with traditional norms.

Queer , gender theory and sociology remind us: desire, identity, and expression are not reducible to performance. Yet globally, queer people are pathologized, surveilled, forced to act within narrow, unsafe scripts just to survive.

Holding hands, sharing a kiss, whispering “I love you” ordinary acts for heterosexual couples are radical, dangerous acts for queer people.

Every touch must be negotiated. Every embrace must be questioned:

Every embrace a knife pressed against the chest. Can a hand ever be held without insult, without the jagged edges of hatred slicing it to shreds? Can lips ever meet without fear, without the sneers and whispers of a world that refuses to see you, that wants to erase your very existence? Can i dance in the streets, laugh, breathe, love openly, or is every heartbeat already a crime, every breath a rebellion punished by silence? Can i whisper “I love you,” confess desire, dare to hope for forever, without crumbling under the weight of judgment, without drowning in the suffocating darkness that presses from all sides? No. This love is forced into shadows, hiding in stolen glances, fleeting touches, whispered names, corners where it can barely survive. Every heartbeat aches as if it might shatter, every sigh bleeds sorrow, every fleeting moment carries the unbearable burden of a world that refuses to recognize it. And yet, despite the cruelty, the shame, the relentless erasure, it fights on fragile, desperate, trembling, exquisitely alive in its agony, unbearably, heartbreakingly beautiful in its silent, defiant suffering.


Across countries, queer intimacy exists in shadows, in stolen corners, in whispers. Always precarious. Always surveilled. Always fragile.

Love is silenced. Desire is muted. Hearts break every day in silence. Relationships are forced into secrecy, into hidden rooms, into shadows. Pride becomes insurgency, queer spaces islands of defiance against suffocating heteronormativity.

Children learn slurs before empathy. Adults normalize silence. Media distorts reality. Institutions erase visibility. And through it all, the ache remains the unyielding, gnawing, desperate longing for a world where love does not demand courage, where a kiss does not require permission, where intimacy does not invite violence.

This is the shadowed reality of queer existence, worldwide. Love is radical. Identity is revolutionary. Visibility is defiance. Every heartbeat, every stolen touch, every whispered “I love you” is a battle against structural oppression.

And yet, queer hearts leave without goodbye kisses, without acknowledgment, without validation. Every love story is haunted by absence, fear, and unspoken longing.

When will the world allow queer hearts to beat openly? When will loving someone of the same gender stop being radical, dangerous, criminalized by stigma, silenced by society?

Until then, queer lives continue in shadows loving, surviving, aching, yearning. A love that is beautiful and punished, tender and forbidden, visible only in courage, whispered only in stolen moments.

Every heartbeat carries resistance. Every embrace carries courage. Every “I love you” whispers revolution.

And the chest tightens, the heart breaks, because love should never be this dangerous but for queer people, it always is.

Gendered Violence Disguised as Public Opinion

Sometimes, when women say “no”to attention, to flirtation, to advance the world reacts as if they have committed a crime. Recently, women have been slut-shamed, trolled, and attacked online, just for saying no to men who are idolized, admired, or considered national heroes. Their choices are mocked, their dignity questioned, their voices silenced, and they are reduced to objects in words like “cheap,” “Thamel ko maal,” “free in Ratnapark.” This is not about one person, one event, or one platform. This is the reality of a society where patriarchy is unshakable a society that idolizes men while punishing women for asserting autonomy over their bodies, their voices, and their choices. Saying no to someone admired publicly can lead to harassment, trolling, and public shaming, exposing the hypocrisy and double standards deeply embedded in our culture.

This is what it feels like to be a woman here, now, in 2025:

They say Nepalese women are the most beautiful not just in their faces,

but in their hearts, their resilience, their grace.
They say women here are respected, cherished, and honored.
They say objectification, sexualization, and slut-shaming are things of the past.

But in the dim corners of this universe  in alleyways, in online comment sections, in whispers that sting like acid the patriarchal gravity still pulls stronger than ever, like the force of a black hole swallowing light.

They say time stops when a woman is born.
Her choices stop, her voice stops, her world stops  frozen within invisible boundaries drawn by a male-dominated gaze.
They say she is sacred, yet they label her Thamel ko maal, Ratnapark ma betincha free ma.
How ironic  the same mouths that call her a commodity were once nourished by a woman’s body.
How easily they forget that they were born from what they now degrade.

They say women give life and yet, they are reduced to objects of negotiation:
“Two thousand ma milcha, natra free ma.”
A woman becomes a transaction, a currency, a tool for pleasure, stripped of her humanity.

They say “respect women,” but the moment she says no, a man’s ego bleeds like an open wound.
They defend their heroes men who use their platforms to normalize harassment, to weaponize masculinity,

to encourage misogyny disguised as entertainment.
And when a woman refuses, when she dares to reject, she becomes a target  insulted, threatened, Slut shamed and reduced to filth in their words.

They say this world values equality, but it doesn’t.
It glorifies men as national heroes while burning women who dare to speak.
They say “as a man, I respect women,” yet in the same breath, they mock, objectify, and erase them.
This is the sociological irony of a system that teaches men to dominate and women to endure.
A structure so deeply embedded that even the universe feels male.

Why is it so hard to be a woman?
Why must existing in one’s own body feel like rebellion?
Why must every inch of a woman’s skin be politicized, eroticized, or monetized?

This is the gendered violence of everyday life  where biology becomes

destiny, and physiology becomes oppression.
Because you don’t have a bigger dick, your worth is questioned, your dignity is negotiable, your autonomy denied.
This is patriarchy in its rawest,

most violent form not just a social system, but a cultural religion worshipping male power and silencing female resistance.

They say equality is hard to achieve.
But what they don’t say is that women are still fighting just to exist.
In a world where saying “no” is an act of war, being a woman is both a miracle and a burden.

And yet  despite the hypocrisy,

the double standards, the constant pain women continue to live, to resist, to breathe.
Maybe that’s what terrifies the world the most.

Sincerely,
A heartbroken voice from within the patriarchal universe

Every comment, every joke, every viral post that mocks or shames a woman for rejecting unwanted attention reflects a culture unwilling to let women have autonomy, unwilling to let them exist without scrutiny or censure. Women are blamed for their own dignity, trolled for refusing advances, and subjected to public humiliation  while society continues to celebrate the men they rejected.

From a sociological perspective, this is the brutal reality of patriarchal dominance, gender performativity, and the commodification of women’s bodies. Saying no becomes a radical act of defiance. Rejecting unwanted attention is seen as provocation. Being human is treated as rebellion.
To be a woman here is to survive every day in a world that treats you as less  smaller, negotiable, disposable. And yet, women resist. Women speak. Women live. Even when the universe itself seems against them, even when every word, every gaze, every system seeks to control them.

This is why we need to listen. This is why we need to reflect. This is why we cannot forget that every injustice begins at the intersection of social norms, media power, and patriarchal culture.

Because the fight is not about one woman, one post, or one viral moment.
It is for all women, everywhere, every day.

Gendered Violence Disguised as Public        Opinion

They say Nepalese women are the most beautiful 


But in the dim corners of this universe  in alleyways, in online comment sections, in whispers that sting like acid  the patriarchal gravity still pulls stronger than ever, like the force of a black hole swallowing light.

They say time stops when a woman is born.
Her choices stop, her voice stops, her world stops frozen within invisible boundaries drawn by a male-dominated gaze.
They say she is sacred, yet they label her Thamel ko maal, Ratnapark ma betincha free ma.
How ironic  the same mouths that call her a commodity were once nourished by a woman’s body.
How easily they forget that they were born from what they now degrade.

They say women give life  and yet, they are reduced to objects of negotiation:
“Two thousand ma milcha, natra free ma.”
A woman becomes a transaction, a currency, a tool for pleasure, stripped of her humanity.

They say “respect women,” but the moment she says no, a man’s ego bleeds like an open wound.
They defend their heroes  men who use their platforms to normalize harassment, to weaponize masculinity, to encourage misogyny disguised as entertainment.
And when a woman refuses, when she dares to reject, she becomes a target — insulted, threatened, reduced to filth in their words.

They say this world values equality, but it doesn’t.
It glorifies men as national heroes while burning women who dare to speak.
They say “as a man, I respect women,” yet in the same breath, they mock, objectify, and erase them.
This is the sociological irony  a system that teaches men to dominate and women to endure.
A structure so deeply embedded that even the universe feels male.

Why is it so hard to be a woman?
Why must existing in one’s own body feel like rebellion?
Why must every inch of a woman’s skin be politicized, eroticized, or monetized?

This is the gendered violence of everyday life — where biology becomes destiny, and physiology becomes oppression.
Because you don’t have a bigger dick, your worth is questioned, your dignity is negotiable, your autonomy denied.
This is patriarchy in its rawest, most violent form  not just a social system, but a cultural religion worshipping male power and silencing female resistance.

They say equality is hard to achieve.
But what they don’t say is that women are still fighting just to exist.
In a world where saying “no” is an act of war, being a woman is both a miracle and a burden.

And yet  despite the hypocrisy, the double standards, the constant pain  women continue to live, to resist, to breathe.
Maybe that’s what terrifies the world the most.

Sincerely,
A heartbroken voice from within the patriarchal universe

Nepal Gen Z Movement Against Corruption

Nepal has long been known as a peaceful nation, embraced by majestic mountains and breathtaking landscapes. But behind this postcard beauty, reality has taken a dark and painful turn. Corruption has hollowed out the very heart of our country. The money that should serve the people, the tax money collected from ordinary citizens has been stolen and misused. Most of that money doesn’t even come easily; it comes from remittance, from the sweat and blood of our youths who work like slaves in the Gulf, enduring hardship so their families can survive.

On Monday, September 8, the young people of Nepal the Gen Z could no longer stay silent. Students, children, and youth walked out into the streets. They marched not only against the rot of corruption but also against the cruel social media ban, a lawless act that strangled their right to free speech, safeguarded both by Nepal’s Constitution and by international human rights law. This was not just a protest it was a cry of survival, a stand against a system that has suffocated the people for far too long.

And what ignited their fury further? The shameless display of the privileged few: the corrupt leaders’ children, parading luxury brands Gucci, Louis Vuitton, and other symbols of excess. While ordinary families begged for medicine, struggled to survive, and died in poverty, these “nepo kids” flaunted wealth stolen from the very citizens who fund the state. How long could the youth remain silent in the face of such obscene injustice?

The protest began peacefully. The police stood by, the crowd moved toward Baneshwor from Maitighar, voices rising but calm. But then—like a shadow over hope things escalated. Reports say outsiders slipped into the march, tensions grew, and authorities responded with brutality. Tear gas choked the air. Water cannons blasted unarmed crowds. Warning shots pierced the sky.

And then came the horror that tore the nation’s heart apart. The police turned their guns on children. On students. Bullets rained down, not rubber as ordered, but live, merciless ammunition aimed at heads and chests. Young lives, brimming with dreams, collapsed onto the asphalt. By nightfall, the death toll reached 20 mostly children and students executed for daring to demand a future. The Chief District Officer may have spoken of rubber bullets, but the truth is undeniable: live rounds were fired into the bodies of Nepal’s own youth.

It was a massacre. A catastrophe written in blood. And instead of seeking justice, the government responded with curfews. First a lockdown from 1:30 pm to 10:30 pm, and by the next morning, an indefinite curfew blanketed Kathmandu.

The brutality did not stop on the streets. It crept into the very place where life should be sacred inside hospitals. Civil Hospital in Baneshwor, a sanctuary for the wounded, became a battlefield. The emergency ward overflowed with bodies, blood, and cries. Doctors and nurses fought with bare hands, without enough blood, medicines, or staff. They worked through tears, performing CPR again and again, refusing to give up even as lives slipped away.

And then, as if to extinguish that last flicker of hope, police invaded the hospital itself. Bullets were fired near the emergency ward. Tear gas suffocated the dying. Patients gasped. Children whimpered. Doctors choked while trying to save them. A civil hospital, meant to heal, had almost been turned into a slaughterhouse by those sworn to protect.

The government, incapable of controlling the voices of its people, deployed the army. But there was no “unrest” to control only the bodies of children, students, and civilians who had dared to dream of a just Nepal. What began as a peaceful protest had now become mass shootings, mass slaughters, and orchestrated massacres by the government and police of Nepal.

The violence spread like wildfire across the nation. In Pokhara, Butwal, Chitwan, and Ithari, streets that had echoed with chants for justice were silenced by gunfire. Reports confirm deaths even in smaller towns. Videos and photos flooded social media, showing police barging into homes without warrants, terrorizing families, hunting protesters, dragging youth away, beating, and killing. These were not acts of law enforcement they were acts of state-sponsored terror.

In a grotesque display of hypocrisy, the government lifted the social media ban that morning. As if removing the ban could erase the carnage. As if clicking a switch could wash away the rivers of blood. But at what cost? Children’s lives. Families broken. Hospitals violated. Trust obliterated.

This was never just about social media. It was about corruption so deep it rots the bones of the country. It was about voices of young people silenced with live ammunition. It was about families mourning instead of dreaming. It was about the soul of Nepal crying out in agony. No wonder millions of Gen Z Nepalese are fleeing. They see no future here, only a country that devours its own youth.

That day, Nepal witnessed a tragedy so cruel, so unforgivable, that words alone cannot contain its weight. What unfolded was not a protest it was a massacre. Children and students, many in school uniforms, their IDs pinned to their chests, were executed as if their lives meant nothing.

This was a blatant violation of international human rights law. The International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR) was shredded before our eyes. Article 6: the right to life. Article 21: the right to peaceful assembly. Both desecrated. Both ignored.

The UN Basic Principles on the Use of Force state clearly: lethal force must be a last resort, only when strictly unavoidable to protect life. That day, it was used not to protect, but to kill. Children in uniforms, students clutching books hours before their final breaths, were targeted. Headshots, chest shots extrajudicial killings, executed by the state.

International law is clear: the Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC) guarantees children the right to life, survival, and development (Article 6), and protection from cruel, inhuman, or degrading treatment (Article 37). Targeted killings, especially of children, are indisputable evidence of intent to kill, not protect.

Even hospitals, sacred spaces, were violated. CRC Article 24 guarantees children the highest attainable standard of health. Even the Geneva Conventions though designed for war protect hospitals from attack. Yet tear gas and bullets invaded Civil Hospital, where the vulnerable, including children, struggled to survive.

An entire nation wept. Citizens begged for mercy, their pleas broadcast live on TikTok. And yet the killing did not stop. Blood flooded the streets. Children fell lifeless. Dreams were extinguished. Courage met with bullets. Innocence met with execution.

What happened yesterday is not policing. It was massacre. Mass shooting. Slaughter. It is a crime against humanity, a war crime in spirit if not in law, and a violation of every moral and legal principle meant to protect life.

And yet, even in this darkness, we honor those who stood up. Those brave children and youth who dared to fight corruption even as weapons were pointed at their chests they are martyrs. They deserve respect, dignity, and remembrance. Their courage is eternal, and their sacrifice will one day seed the Nepal they dreamed of.

Nepal, once known for peace, now stands stained by the blood of its own children. A nation with the Himalayas as its crown now wears a crown of shame.

EVEN After pride, LGBTQIA+ Hearts Still Fight To Be Seen🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Yesterday was June 30th, the final day of Pride Month. As it draws to a close, it’s hard not to feel the weight of what this month truly means. Pride is not just about celebration; it’s about survival. It’s about being seen, being heard, being accepted even if only for a fleeting moment. June becomes the one time of year when so many finally feel safe enough to be who they are, to wear what they want, to breathe without hiding. But the truth is devastating there are still countless souls who never get even that one moment.

Pride is a month of hope, yes but it is also born from pain, from resistance, from suffocation. It’s fearless because it had to be. It’s powerful because silence was never an option. From city to city, street to street, people gather—queer folks, allies, friends marching side by side under the vibrant, defiant rainbow flag. That flag isn’t just a symbol; it’s a lifeline. Each color holds a story. Each stripe carries pain and power and identity. Within its light, people find themselves the truest version of who they are and who they were always meant to be.

And in that light, it begins the most courageous journey: to live openly, to love without fear, to say to the world I was born this way. You don’t need to belong to a label to stand with this community. You only need compassion. You only need to believe that every human deserves dignity. Because this isn’t just about sexuality or gender. This is about human rights. And that is never up for debate.

Even today, there are countless people who remain silent not because they lack the will to support, but because they live in a society that insists on labeling gender and sexuality, confining individuals to narrow boxes. So many are still unable to live as their true selves, to breathe freely in their own identities. In many parts of the world, same-sex love and marriage are still condemned as sinful. Being LGBTQIA+ is wrongly seen as unnatural, even as a mental illness. What shattered me most was learning that in Nepal, the MBBS curriculum still lists “lesbianism” and “transgender identity” under sexual perversion. Even though the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from its list of mental disorders decades ago, these harmful labels continue to exist in places meant to heal.

Just imagine what queer medical students must feel learning about their very existence as something to be cured or pathologized. It breaks my heart. It’s not just ignorance it’s institutional violence.

People often dismiss queerness as a trend, a western import, or media brainwash. But one of my queer friends once told me that films, series, and shows actually helped them find themselves that the media was a mirror when the world offered none. Yes, the media matters. It can awaken, affirm, and empower.

Still, there are stories that remain untold, voices silenced like whispers lost in the vast cold of space. There is agony, suffocation, and quiet suffering pain that no one sees. Like a dying star that collapses in silence, the absence of sound doesn’t mean the explosion isn’t real. Just because we don’t hear these voices, doesn’t mean they’re not crying out. And just because society refuses to see the truth, doesn’t mean it isn’t burning brightly, right there in front of us.


This year, history was made in Asia as Thailand took a monumental step forward becoming the first country in South Asia, and the second in all of Asia after Taiwan, to legalize same-sex marriage. It was a victory born not overnight, but from decades of resilience, heartbreak, and relentless advocacy for the most basic of human rights: the right to love freely. While some have claimed Nepal has joined this historic wave, the truth remains more complex same-sex couples in Nepal may register their marriage, but it still lacks full legal recognition. There’s a difference between being allowed and being embraced.

In a world where acceptance still feels like a luxury, Thailand and Taiwan have emerged as beacons of hope. These countries aren’t just flying the rainbow flag they’re lifting the entire community with it. This June, as Pride Month painted cities with color and courage, Bangkok welcomed over 300,000 people into the heart of celebration, while Taiwan embraced around 200,000 proud souls. These weren’t just parades; they were declarations of visibility, resistance, and unconditional love.

The streets came alive with the shimmer of rainbow flags, glinting under the sunlight like stars born from struggle. Every step, every chant, every tear-soaked smile told the story of people who have fought to simply be. “Born this way” wasn’t just a lyric it was a truth that echoed through the crowd, etched in every heartbeat. In that moment, Pride was more than a celebration it was a soul-stirring reminder that love will always find its way home, even through centuries of silence.

Yet, heartbreakingly, in many corners of the world, homosexuality is still seen as a sin, a sickness, something unnatural. In some countries, loving someone of the same gender is not just condemned it’s criminalized. The punishment can be horrifying: from life imprisonment to execution, and the cruel, inhumane practice of so-called “conversion therapy” still exists, attempting to erase people’s identities in the name of conformity.

And sometimes, I can’t help but wonder, we search the stars, we question the universe, desperate to know if we’re alone. Scientists pour their lives into discovering other forms of life, other beings beyond Earth. We ask, “Are we the only ones?” But here’s the painful irony: are we even ready to accept them, if they exist? Because right now, we can’t even accept our own.

We reject those who don’t conform to society’s narrow definitions. We treat people with darker skin, or those who love differently, as outsiders less worthy, less human. We call them unnatural, punish them for existing, silence them with abuse and violence. So what would happen if the beings we long to discover beyond the stars don’t fit into our world’s rigid norms either? What if queerness exists among them too?

Would we welcome them with open arms, or judge them just as harshly? Would we call them divine, or deviant? The truth is haunting: how can we dream of embracing alien life when we still refuse to embrace our own? The real question isn’t whether other life exists, it’s whether our hearts are ready to love without conditions, without fear, without borders. Until then, maybe the most alien thing in this universe is still kindness for those who are different.

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