Jyoti's Blog

No Shame, Only Pride: Honoring LGBTQIA+ Rights and Stories

June holds a deep, undeniable significance for the LGBTQIA+ community and for all those who stand beside them in love and solidarity. It’s more than just a month it’s a powerful tribute to resilience, courage, and the unbreakable human spirit. Pride Month began in remembrance of the Stonewall riots, which erupted on June 28, 1969—a moment of resistance that sparked a revolution. One year later, the very first Pride marches took place, lighting a flame that has never dimmed.

What started as a brave response to injustice has grown into a global celebration of love, identity, and visibility. Every June, streets around the world come alive with vibrant colors, music, and joy. But behind every rainbow flag is a history of pain, perseverance, and the long, unfinished journey toward equality.

Pride is not just a celebration—it’s a reminder. A reminder that every right we have today was fought for, that every joyful moment exists because someone before us refused to be silenced. It is about honoring those who came before, embracing who we are now, and holding space for all those who are still finding their voice.

Pride is about love. It is about community. It is about showing up—for yourself, for others, and for a world where everyone can be exactly who they are without fear. It is a beautiful, bold, and deeply human declaration: We are here. We matter. We are proud.

Pride Month is not only a celebration—it’s a vital call to awareness. It shines a light on the discrimination, violence, and marginalization that the LGBTQIA+ community continues to endure around the world. Amid the joy and color, there is a deeper truth: that being seen, being safe, and being accepted are still struggles for many.

The rainbow flag, now a universal symbol of Pride, is more than just bright colors fluttering in the wind. Each stripe holds meaning—life, healing, sunlight, nature, harmony, and spirit—reminding us of the power and beauty found in diversity. Together, these colors tell a story of hope, resilience, and the belief that a more inclusive world is possible.

To march beneath that flag, hand in hand with transgender, non-binary, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and queer people, is to experience something beyond words. It is a surge of emotion—a moment of being truly seen. It is the fierce joy of standing tall in a world that too often tries to erase you. It is unity. It is pride. It is the quiet revolution of simply being who you are, without apology.

Nepal reached a deeply moving and unforgettable milestone when Kathmandu saw its first formal Pride Parade—a moment that marked not just history, but the beginning of a new chapter in love, dignity, and freedom. Since 2019, the Queer Youth Group has been courageously leading Nepal Pride Parade Month celebrations, creating space for queer voices to be seen, heard, and honored. The Queer Rights Collective (QRC) joined this journey from the very beginning, walking hand in hand to uplift the community with strength and solidarity.

In 2020, the movement grew even more powerful when Campaign for Change (CfC) came on board. As the first and only organization in Nepal led by intersex individuals, CfC brought an essential and long-overdue voice to the forefront—the voice of those who have long lived in silence. Their presence turned the parade into more than a celebration; it became a heartfelt declaration of existence, courage, and belonging. Together, these organizations have not only painted the streets with rainbows but have also filled hearts with hope, resilience, and the promise of a more inclusive future.

That day was not just historic. It was unforgettable. A beginning. A promise. A powerful reminder that love and dignity are not privileges—they are rights and the fight for them is far from over.

For me, Pride Month is more than just a celebration—it’s something sacred, something deeply personal. It’s a time to connect with others, to listen to stories that are as brave as they are heartbreaking. It’s the feeling of marching with the rainbow flag held close, like carrying something fragile and precious—because it is. It’s the weight of history, of love, of struggle and resilience, all woven into its colors.

While the world has made remarkable progress—especially in many European countries where same-sex marriage is now legal and open conversations about LGBTQIA+ rights are becoming more normalized—the reality is not the same everywhere. In far too many places, simply being who you are is still seen as wrong, unnatural, or even sinful. Pride marches have never happened in these countries. And many people, silenced by fear or danger, still cannot show up—not because they don’t want to, but because it isn’t safe.

There are still countless stories waiting to be told. So many voices still waiting to rise.

But behind the headlines and legal language is a much heavier truth—one that weighs on real people with real hearts. For those who live as third gender, every day is still a fight. A fight to be seen. To be safe. To simply live without shame or fear. The recognition exists, yes, but the acceptance that’s still missing.

Nepal, in many ways, is a flicker of light in a region often cloaked in silence and struggle. It has dared to be different—enshrining protections in its constitution and becoming one of the few nations. However, behind the headlines and legal language is a much heavier truth—one that weighs on real people with real hearts. For those who live as third gender, every day is still a fight. A fight to be seen. To be safe. To simply live without shame or fear. The recognition exists, yes, but the acceptance… that’s still missing.

In 2024, Nepal made history once more, taking a courageous step toward recognizing same-sex marriage. For a moment, it felt like a dream cracking open—something longed for, something sacred. But that dream remains just out of reach. Though a few couples have managed to register their unions, the path is strewn with obstacles, delays, and deep, painful resistance.

Love—so pure, so human—is still questioned, blocked, burdened with bureaucracy and judgment. What should be a joyous moment, a beginning, becomes instead a struggle marked by heartbreak and uncertainty. And yet, in the face of all this, people continue to hope. To love. To fight. Because sometimes, even the smallest light can warm the coldest darkness.

Every one of these steps forward comes with a story—of courage, of love, of waiting, and of fighting for a rightful place in society. Pride, in Nepal and beyond, is a celebration of those stories. Of the ones we’ve heard, and of the many still waiting to be told.

Because Pride is not just about how far we’ve come—it’s about how far we still have to go. And it’s about walking that path together, hand in hand, with love, courage, and relentless hope.

I have carried a quiet ache for as long as I can remember—a longing to simply exist as I am, without fear, without disguise. To live my truth openly, without apology. I have always stood beside the LGBTQIA+ community, not just as an ally, but as someone who understands the agony of hiding, of dimming your light so others feel more comfortable in shadow. A proud supporter of LGBTQIA+ Community, standing firmly for human right for love, for dignity. There is a particular kind of sorrow in erasing yourself day after day—wearing a smile that isn’t yours, speaking in ways that betray your heart, just to be accepted.

Pride Month, for me, is not just a celebration. It is a cry from the soul—a defiant, trembling whisper turned roar: I will not be ashamed.

It is a vow to be present, not just for my own healing, but for anyone who has ever felt invisible, unloved, or unworthy. To remind them—and myself—that there is profound beauty in truth, in love, in simply being. That living authentically is not just brave. It is sacred.

Pride tells the world what society often refuses to: There is no shame in being who you are. There is only pride.

And yet, the heartbreak still lingers—for all the times LGBTQ+ People are treated as less than, called unnatural or abnormal, made to feel like they don’t belong. It’s a kind of loneliness that runs deep. Even when the world turns its back, Pride turns toward LGBTQ+ with open arms, with love, with fierce affirmation. Pride sees the people of this community and all. Pride says, You are worthy.

In many countries like Thailand, Taiwan, and across Europe, Pride Month is celebrated boldly and beautifully. Streets fill with color, dance, music, parades, and art—an entire month alive with acceptance and joy. But in Nepal, celebrating Pride comes with a different kind of courage. Visibility here is harder. Recognition is limited. The government has yet to officially declare June as Pride Month, media coverage is sparse, and resources are few.

And yet, in the face of all that, people from the LGBTQIA+ still rise. Thanks to organizations like the Queer Youth Group, Campagne for Chane and Queer Right collective who have been organising together pride parade and all the LGBTQ+ people and allies have found a way to gather, to march, to celebrate—openly, proudly, defiantly. Even without full recognition, even without the spotlight, we show up. Because we matter. Because love is real. Because People of the LGBTQIA+ will not be erased.

Pride, in Nepal and beyond, is an act of love. Of resistance. Of hope. It’s a quiet reevery step forward. And I am proud to be part of it.

You don’t need to share an identity to stand beside someone in their truth. Walking with the LGBTQIA+ community is a choice rooted in compassion, solidarity, and love. You just have to care—about justice, about humanity, about love. Being an ally means choosing to see the struggles that others endure, and standing with them not out of obligation, but out of compassion. It’s about showing up with open ears, open hearts, and the willingness to learn. It’s about honoring every person’s right to live freely, truthfully, and without fear.

Pride is not exclusive—it’s an invitation. An invitation to reflect on what it means to accept, to support, and to love. It reminds us that kindness is not passive—it’s powerful. That inclusion is not optional—it’s essential.

When you stand with the LGBTQ+ community, you’re standing for something bigger: the belief that every single person deserves dignity, safety, and the right to love openly. These are not political opinions or points of debate—they are basic, undeniable human rights.

So this Pride Month June 14, 2025 which is happening in the Nepal, let’s go beyond the boundaries of identity and into the heart of what truly matters. Let’s celebrate love in all its extraordinary forms. Let’s honor the strength it takes to live authentically. And let’s commit—deeply and fully—to building a world where no one ever has to wonder if they belong.

Because in the end, Pride is not just about who you love. It’s about how fiercely you love humanity.

Cradling Lie

There is no noise in this room.
Only the breathless hush
of things that once dreamed of becoming alive.
The walls don’t speak.
The air doesn’t move.
A dim blue bulb hums above,
casting shadows where my heart used to be.

I sit in a room painted with ghosts.
Dark grey.
Still.
Lonely like an abandoned prayer.
The bed empty
feels like a coffin that forgot its name.
It’s cold enough to turn longing into ice.
And I lie here,
thinking of her again,
again,
again
a loop I can’t escape,
a name I can’t forget.

She was never mine.
Never meant to be.
Never promised.
But something in her
felt like truth
dressed in silence
like honor that didn’t need a vow.

Her eyes, God, those grey hazel eyes
they told stories I wanted to live in.
They looked at the world
as if it had already broken her too,
and I loved her more for it.
Her cheeks, the color of things I could never keep.
Her lips are red, cruelly perfect
the kind you dream of
before waking to an empty side of the bed.

Did she ever mean what I heard?
Did her silence ever echo back my name?
Or was it just me
clinging to the hope
that her stillness was a secret language
meant only for me?

Maybe it was nothing.
Maybe it was just light bending the wrong way.
Maybe I mistook reflection for the feeling,
illusion for love.
Maybe the lie wasn’t hers.
Maybe the lie was mine
and I held it close,
cradled it like a dying thing,
because it was the only thing
that still felt warm.

April 29th…. The Memories

The day wears grey like mourning skin,
Fog spills from the sky like a secret it can’t hold.
My eyes clouded, weary see nothing
but a blur of white silence.
The rain falls in sync with my aching pulse.
And here I am
spinning slowly,
grieving quietly,
dancing with the ghost you left behind.

They call this heaven.
But if this is paradise,
why does it feel like death in disguise?
Why, when I open my eyes,
do I only find emptiness where you used to be?

It’s April 29th.
But who would know?
No one hears what my heart screams quietly
A symphony of feelings long abandoned,
emotions left behind, stripped of hope.

We promised we would remain friends,
Even when we couldn’t be what we dreamed of.
Five decades have slipped away,
But here, today, on April 29th,
Five years have torn me apart.
I have nothing left to prove,
For we’ve all moved on,
But I… I’m still bound this April 29th.

I wish, more than anything,
That I could go back
Back to that April 29th, five years ago,
To breathe in that moment again,
To hold onto it like the fragile dream it was.
Even now, five years later,
I went back to that bar,
Alone,
With fever and ache in my chest,
Hoping that, just maybe
Maybe I could feel you there,
Find something, anything of you.

But instead,
I found nothing.
Just empty echoes of what we once were.
And that’s when I understood
That searching for someone in places
Where they no longer exist
Is the cruelest kind of pain.
A place where your absence cuts deeper than any wound.
Those were the places I never should’ve gone,
But I did.
Because even now,
I’m still looking for you.

I still feel it,
How you once dreamed of art,
Of drawing with ink,
Of escaping to London,
To breathe life into the dreams we shared.
And it was in that silence,
When you made your choice,
When you told me we couldn’t become
What we once believed we could.
That moment shattered everything we were.

But I hold onto those three years,
Clutching them like the last pieces of a broken heart,
Each second we spent together
It was a gift,
Even though it was fleeting,
Like something precious slipping through my fingers.

And now,
This April 29th,
It’s as if the world has forgotten how to bloom.
No flowers rise from the earth,
No joy in the air,
Just the hollow ache of a love lost.
No one knows where I was,
What was left of me,
On this day that haunts me.
No one knows how I searched for you
In the places you’ll never be,
How I still long for a love that’s already gone.

And I guess,
On this April 29th,
I’m still waiting.
Waiting for a world that has moved on,
For a love that’s died,
And for a part of me that I can never get back.
It’s all I have now
The echoes of what we were,
The silence of what we could never be.
April 29th will never forget you.
And neither will I.

To the One Who’ll Never Know

Hey…
It’s been a while.
I haven’t written.
Haven’t spoken.
But God
I still ache in silence for you.
You linger like a shadow
in a life I no longer recognize.
And even though the world keeps moving,
I’m frozen
in the moment you smiled,
in the version of myself
that once hoped you’d stay.

It’s been almost three years.
And I’m still there.
Still beneath the same sky,
still whispering your name
to stars that don’t answer.
I tell people I’ve moved on
but how do you move on
from a heartbeat that was never yours
yet felt like home?

The last time you texted me,
my whole body exhaled grief.
You remembered me.
My name.
And even if it meant nothing to you,
it meant everything to me.
Because love,
real love,
isn’t about being chosen
it’s about choosing
without condition,
without demand,
without ever being seen.

You were the right person.
Right soul.
Right everything
at the most wrong time.
And still,
you taught me how to love
in ways I didn’t think I was capable of.
You showed me how to give
without expecting.
To care
even when it kills.
To love
without being loved back.

There are a billion galaxies out there.
A trillion stars that burn endlessly.
But none of them
are you.
You
the only one who ever made the night
feel less lonely.
They say I’m obsessed
that I need help
but no one understands
that need and want
are two entirely different kinds of pain.
And I needed you.
Like breath.
Like blood.
Like life.
Especially now.

Because when I met you,
I wasn’t looking for love.
I was broken.
Tired.
Sick.

Chronic illness was already wearing me down
making every step
feel like a mountain.
I had a buzzcut,
not out of choice,
but survival.
I was unsteady
physically, emotionally
yet somehow,
you looked at me
like I was whole.
Even in my worst,
you saw something
worth remembering.
And I’ll never forget that.

But now you’re gone.
And I’m left
in the darkest part of my mind,
writing poems for someone
who will never read them.
You’re off in your universe,
chasing dreams
I always knew I’d never be a part of.
You’re the queen of your world.
And I’m just a body
that fails me daily
stuck in pain,
stuck in memories,
just trying to matter.

You were always too much
for someone like me.
Too radiant.
Too perfect.
Too far.
If I were someone else,
somewhere else
would you have loved me?
Maybe.
But what’s the use
in dreaming a life
I’ll never live?

So I’ll keep bleeding quietly.
I’ll love you
in the only way I know how
silently,
hopelessly,
with no expectations.
This isn’t a love story.
It’s a requiem.
A prayer that dies
every time I whisper your name.

You’ll never know
how much you meant to me.
But I’m proud of you
you did it.
You made your dreams real.
And though I couldn’t walk beside you,
I watched from the distance
cheering,
breaking,
loving.

So here it is
my final surrender.
I love you.
With every sick cell in my body.
With every sleepless night.
With every broken hope.
I love you
without needing you to ever look back.
I love you
knowing you never will.

And now

I let you go
slowly,
softly,
like releasing a prayer
into space.

The Café Where I Fell Into Memories

Just me, sitting alone again,
in that same café,
with an untouched Americano,
as the ghosts of yesterday whisper in my ears.

I remember the first time I saw you
how the world blurred at the edges,
how my chest tightened,
how my breath slipped away like a forgotten prayer.
My first anxiety attack,
right there,
in that chair,
on that side of the table
where you once sat too.

And now, I sit here again,
tracing the shape of your absence,
gathering every shattered moment,
as if piecing them together
could somehow bring you back.
It was beautiful, wasn’t it?
The way we existed together,
like poetry we didn’t know we were writing,
like a tragedy we never saw coming.

That day, the day,
the best and worst day of my life.
Because it gave me you.
And then, it took you away.

But why did I come back here?
Does it even matter now?
Why do I still search for you in places
you no longer belong?
Why do I keep missing you
like a wound that refuses to heal?
Why do my cheeks still burn
with the ghost of your touch?
Why am I still in love with you,
still loving you,
even as it unravels me,
even as it destroys me?

And yet
even as it kills me,
I’d still choose this pain,
over a life where I never loved you at all.

I know you’re gone.
So far away, so untouchable,
a fading star in a sky I can’t reach.
I know you ended it.
You closed the door with a finality
that left no room for echoes,
no space for hope.
Your last message
so sure, so unwavering
made it clear
that we will never meet again,
not in this life,
perhaps not in any.

And I know.
Oh God, I know.
I swear, I do.

But tell me,
how do I make my heart understand?
How do I force it to stop searching for you
in the spaces you no longer exist?
How do I teach it
that the thought of never seeing you again
shouldn’t feel like slowly dying?

So I write.
Because words are all I have left of you.
Because you were never just a person—
you were poetry itself,
a masterpiece I could never own,
a fleeting brushstroke in the art of my life.

I sit in the same café,
watching my tears blur the words on my screen,
the letters dissolving like everything we once were.
Even when I could no longer see,
I kept writing.
Because stopping would mean letting go.

The waitress asked me what happened,
but how do I shape a storm into words?
How do I tell her that you happened to me?

I saw you
my breath caught, my world tilted,
my eyes locked onto yours,
and in that instant, I shattered.
I burned, I bled, I came undone—
because I was looking at you.

Your simplest text
a lifeline I held onto like it could save me.
Your smile
a sun I was never meant to touch.
The way you spoke,
the way your voice wrapped around me
soft, fleeting, never mine.

Oh, how do I explain?
To you, it was nothing.
A kindness.
A gentle, passing warmth.
To me, it was the whole damn universe
crashing into my ribs.

But I won’t blame you.
Not for not loving me,
not for never seeing
how every piece of me bent toward you,
how I carved your name into the bones of my existence
for not seeing the universe
I built inside me
with your name carved into the stars.

I knew this love was impossible.
That’s why I never told you
that you were my world.

So here I am,
back in this café where I once imagined telling you,
where your absence lingers like an unfinished song.
This place still carries your laughter,
still echoes your name in the quiet air.

And maybe that’s enough.
Because even in your absence,
I remember it all too well.

Stories in Every Beat

I lie there, lost in the stillness of the bed,
The dim light above flickering like a distant, fading memory.
Mint-colored headphones rest heavily on my ears,
Flooding my senses with the raw, aching sound of Taylor Swift,
All Too Well on repeat, a song that feels like it was written for me.

Every word cuts through me like a knife,
A brutal reminder of the love I couldn’t keep,
Of the pieces of my heart I gave to you,
Now scattered, broken, and lost.
I search for you in every verse,
Hoping to find something of you left behind,
But all I find is emptiness,
A reflection of how much of you I’ve lost,
And how much of me is still desperately trying to hold on.

How do I move on when forgetting you
Feels like erasing a part of my soul?
How can I let go when your ghost
Still lingers in the corners of my mind,
Haunting me with every thought,
Every breath I take?

The hardest part?
The part that rips me apart?
I can’t forget you,
No matter how much I try,
No matter how much time passes,
You’re still here
Not in flesh, but in every memory,
In every heartbeat that still echoes your name.

They say forgiveness is a masterpiece,
And moving on a path only the brave dare tread.
But loving you from the shadows,
Knowing my love will never touch you,
Is a quiet devastation I can’t escape.

It’s in every sleepless night,
When my thoughts of you burn too fiercely,
My eyes red and swollen,
The vision blurred by tears I never let fall,
The heat in my cheeks that comes
From longing for something I can never have.
Even the sound of your name stirs panic in me,
A fear that grips my chest—
Losing you, even though you were never mine
To lose in the first place.

At 2 a.m., I lie awake,
My mind wrapped in the ache of wanting you,
A love that will never be known to you,
A desire you’ll never feel,
Yet still, I pray to a God who may never listen,
Hoping to be near you,
Even if it’s in a different life,
A different time,
In another universe where love might have been possible.

And still, I can’t bring myself to go back,
To the place where we first met,
The cafe that holds everything that’s broken inside me,
Where I received your final words,
The last message that sealed the fate of us.

I can’t bear to step foot there again
That place, that street,
Now only a painful reminder
Of a love that was never mine to keep.
Every corner echoes with your absence,
And I walk alone,
Through the haunting silence,
Of Cornelia Street,
Where I am left,
Where I can not be
Bleeding in the quiet,
With nothing but the ghost of you for company.
I’m still loving you like a fool,
Chasing your fleeting shadow in the dark,
Still aching for you, like a star lost without the sun,
Trying to burn for you, like the star that will never be seen.
Trying to glow for you, like the moon whose light can never reach you,
Knowing you’re a universe away,
A light I’ll never touch.
Perhaps I was never meant to,
But even in that cruel truth, I love you—
A love that burns like a thousand hells,
Unquenchable, relentless.

They say you’re someone I could never have,
Someone too distant, too far beyond my grasp,
Too precious for me to touch,
And I know they’re right.
You are the queen of your world,
The idol of a thousand hearts,
The most beautiful, the most alluring soul
I’ve ever known.
And I, I’m just a shadow,
A secret admirer, a lover who can never be seen,
Loving you from the aching distance you’ve built,
With nothing more than dreams and whispered wishes.

With my trembling legs,
With my sickness that weakens my every step,
I am nothing but a fragile soul,
Barely holding on to a love that was never mine to claim.
Still, I love you,
Despite the distance, despite my pain,
My heart bleeding silently,
And even when I know I will never be enough for you.

Even if we had been together,
Even if we had become a couple,
I know the truth our love would have been nothing but a burden,
A caretaker tending to a patient,
And I could never do that to you,
Not to you, and not to anyone.
But even with that truth, I can’t stop loving you,
I don’t understand why I fell for you,
Why my heart chose you,
Why the thought of just seeing you
Makes my eyes burn with a longing so deep,
That my cheeks flush with the ache of desire I can never speak.

I can’t afford you,
And I will never be able to.
They say we sometimes fall for the wrong person,
But I refuse to believe that.
I don’t think we ever fall for the wrong person—
It’s the circumstances, the timing that’s cruel,
The fact that you don’t feel the same way
Doesn’t make you the wrong one,
It just means we’re never meant to touch what we dream of.
We can’t afford what we feel,
It’s beyond us, beyond our reach,
A love that can never be ours.

And yet, despite this unrelenting heartbreak,
Despite the searing pain that burns like fire in the darkest of hells,
Despite crying as though my soul is being ripped apart
Like the last breath of a dying star,
Despite missing you like the sun aches for the sky,
Forgiving you feels like a strange kind of release,
Like letting go of something I never had but needed so badly.
Loving you, though…
Loving you is nothing short of legendary.
It’s a love that defies logic,
A love that stays with me,
Even if it was never meant to be.
And it bleeds through every breath,
Every heartbeat,
With a beauty I’ll carry forever,
Even as it tears me apart.

I will keep loving you in the quiet places,
Where you will never hear my heart breaking,
And where you will never feel the weight of my love
That stretches through time,
Through space,
Through every cruel moment I cannot hold you.
You are the light I can never reach,
And I
I will remain forever lost,
Drowning in the quiet agony of a love
That was never meant to be.

Maybe Then, Maybe There

The sky was endless, pale, so blue
So heartbreakingly soft,
Until you walked away.
And when you did, the heavens bled,
Flushed pink, bruised gold,
Like the last light before night takes hold.

I stood beneath it,
My black eyes drowned in sorrow,
Red with grief,
Tears slipping down my burning cheeks
Silent, relentless, like the love I could never give you.

And you
You held my life in your hands,
Delicate, unknowing,
Like a poet holding words they will never write.
I was just another passerby,
Just another shadow,
Sitting in a quiet café,
Letting coffee grow cold between my trembling hands,
Letting laughter turn hollow in my throat.
And yet, in every moment,
In every stolen glance,
Your name rose, uninvited, a thousand times,
A whisper, a wound, a wish.

They tell me there are others
That love is vast, endless, forgiving.
That there is an ocean filled with possibilities,
With hearts waiting to be held.
But they don’t understand.
I never wanted an ocean.
I only wanted one.
One tide, one storm,
One sea that ran red with you.

And still, I look at you
With the same quiet reverence,
As if you were sculpted by sorrow itself,
A masterpiece never meant for me.
And still, I love you
Silently, violently,
Like a wound that never closes,
Like a song unsung but never forgotten.

And still
I look at you the same way,
With the same quiet ache,
As if you were carved from the stars,
A masterpiece I was never meant to touch.
And still
I love you, in ways I cannot name,
In silence, in sorrow, in slow, steady breaking.

Maybe in another universe,
Maybe beyond this life,
You will see me the way I see you.
Maybe your cheeks will flush red
At the sound of my name,
Maybe your hands will ache
To reach for mine the way mine tremble for you.
Maybe then, maybe there,
You will love me, too.

Glad I loved you

I’m thankful for every touch,
Even the briefest hug,
Even the faintest breath of you in the air,
The scent of you,
A fragrance that clings to me,
Even though I’m allergic to perfume,
Even though it burns me,
Even though it tears my heart,
I still crave it,
I still long for it,
Because it was you.

But still, I’m thankful
Grateful for you,
For the love I once held in my arms,
Even if it’s now just a ghost,
Bleeding my heart dry,
Whispering in the silence of my empty soul.
I loved you

I’m glad,
I fell in love with someone so perfect,
So breathtakingly beautiful,
That no words could ever do justice to who you are.
I’m glad I could whisper I love you
Even if it was only in the quiet of my heart,
Even though my love for you was a secret,
Even though it was never meant to be returned.
But still, I’m glad I loved you
To have felt you
Even though you’ll never know the depth of it,
Even though my heart breaks with every breath,
I’m glad to have loved you at all.

I’m glad I met you,
Enchanted the moment our paths crossed,
Lost in the spell of your presence,
A presence that lit up my entire world,
A world I never knew could hold something so beautiful.
I’m glad I saw you,
Even if just once,
The way my cheeks burned at the thought of you,
The way my heart raced every time I even imagined your smile.

I’m glad I wrote you into my life,
Made you my poetry the second I saw you,
Even knowing you’d never read it,
Even knowing you’d never know how deeply I was lost in you.

I’m glad you existed,
Even though you were never meant for me,
Even though you were always a dream I could never hold.
I’m glad for the memories,
Even though they haunt me,
Even though they tear at my very soul,
I’m glad I was happy, even if it was fleeting,
Even if now all I have left are the shattered pieces of a love
That was never mine.

I’m glad I loved you,
Even though it’s killing me,
Even though it’s bleeding me dry with every thought of you,
Even though you’ll never know how much you meant,
And how much I will always love you
No matter how it destroys me.

In Every Shadow

You live in every shadow,
Every beat of my heart,
Every moment, every space,
Every path I tread, you are there,
Yet there is no room for me.
You are a ghost,
A figment of my imagination,
They tell me I’m lost in a dream,
That I’m drowning in my own delusions.
But they don’t understand,
That even in this madness,
I find solace in you,
Even in this despair,

I cherish the glimpse of you,
Even in my illusions,
I love you
And I would give everything,
To say I met you,
Even if only in the fragments of my broken mind.
I’m lost in this love,
And even as I bleed,
I’m grateful.
I’m grateful that you exist.

You were the light I never thought I deserved,
The one thing in my life that shone brighter than all the darkness.
You were there when the world turned its back on me,
When I was lost, when I was at my lowest.
You saw the beauty in me when I couldn’t find it myself,
You understood my truth, even when I was wrapped in lies.

I’m grateful for the chance to have seen you,
Those eyes that held my soul in their depths,
I’m thankful I felt the warmth of your lips,
Soft and tender, a memory I can’t forget.
Your wild burgundy hair,
Untamed and beautiful,
It lives in my mind,
A vision I’ll never let go of.
Your voice—oh, your voice—
It haunts me, echoes through my veins,
A melody I’ll never be free from